As far as I can remember

While I was growing up, I had run in with criminal activity. My friends were killers, drug dealer, thieves, gang bangers. And some of my family was apart of the mafia. Now most of them all have died or in prison. I have shot at more than once, and a gun has been put to my face 3 or 4 times. Today was an interesting to say the least because I went sleep and had dreams as if I were still in the dark world. Having to remember that things can worse, having to remember the pain that I had live with every single day. Thinking there was no way I could live to be 25, thinking there was no way I could go to college. Now me being the son and grandson of some very important people helped me get to where I am now, but I have lost all of my friends, I have moved away from most of my family(thats still alive). What should I regret not being there to help those that are still here or should I regret trying to forget where I come from?